Human Services Essay

The book, â€Å"Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus† by John Gray, generally, explores the claim that men and women are different and it is this difference that makes relationships fail and/or succeed. Using an allegorical backdrop, he presented his hypothesis by narrating how men originally was from Mars, where, they value success, titles and positions and how women originally was from Venus, where they value relationships, communication and empathy. At a particular point, lives on both planets became meaningless until a Martian glimpsed a Venetian and the Venetians felt loved and cherished, thus, they fitted the gap missing in their lives and opted to live on earth. This story was carefully enhanced as each personality is explored, taking into account their background, their reactions, feelings, expectations as well as coping mechanisms. I can see how positive Gray is, in pursuing his claim, presenting the facts, examples as well as possibilities of the situation. I can also say that most of his concepts are true – that women are indeed very â€Å"emotional† and that men are very â€Å"logical†. On the other hand, this will only be applicable for couples who are willing to make a relationship work. I do not think this will work effectively in a relationship where, let’s say, the man does not understand how a woman think or where a man does not know that women are like â€Å"tides†. I think in the end, women are still going to give – that they will still be â€Å"trapped† in such situation where they have no choice but to give and obliged to understand men. In a way, I don’t like the idea that men fill in the void the women feel when they encounter their down moments. I don’t like the idea that a Venetian is in need of a Martian. Perhaps, I’m just in a rebellious state that I feel that way but I never liked the idea that a woman can’t live without a man in her life. I believe that women are able and are very capable to sustain a living. Such that if a woman is being beaten by her husband, or if a woman is being abused, or if a man validates his vices as a coping mechanism when he is in his cave, the woman has every right to fight back or even leave her husband. She shouldn’t disregard her needs as a woman just because she is waiting for her husband to come out of his cave or have his rubber band pulled back. She shouldn’t let anybody step over her boundaries just because she is naturally, understanding. In the field of human services, the information about men and women will greatly help in dealing with people. It’s hard to separately discuss how acting out, catharsis and repression is related to concepts mentioned in the book so I will be citing possible examples instead. In cases of teenage drug abuse, it is important to trace how it started, or particularly, why it did. Getting these people to talk, be it a man or a woman is never easy. For one, their current coping mechanism may be a result of continuous nurturing of repressed emotions. While time is a big element in these types of situation, using Gray’s concepts teach us to allow them space until they are ready to discuss their issues. Force rarely works in these scenarios, nor is immediate rehabilitation. For youngsters, parents’ participation in this process is very crucial as children may have repressed emotions that need attention. Parents should be educated on â€Å"how to listen† while children will have to be â€Å"advised† on how to â€Å"accept† or â€Å"communicate. † For adults, one’s behavior or treatment greatly matters. Gray’s notes on how to motivate a man or a woman, or encourage them to talk will help in these types of scenarios. In child abuse or rape cases, they say it’s far easier to assign a woman to interview the victims. This is true, because women in general, know how to empathize with the victims as well as understand the situation. Men, normally, try to put on their â€Å"Mr. Fix It Personality† to help a victim feel better – which rarely works and usually pushes the victims into their own comfort zones – choosing not to talk, instead. Gray’s notes on how to make people talk starts from the very basic – being silent and being ready at any time to accommodate the victim. In dealing with the elderly or senior citizens, it will be very different. The provider has to understand that not only does gender matter here but also the psychosocial stage a person is in. Dealing with senior citizens do not constitute a relational aspect, some may even feel insulted if you try to look at it in that perspective. Gray’s ideas in considering the person’s culture (or background) and understanding the person’s individuality (gender and personality) will help in making such relationship fruitful and successful. Health services may seem very specific and require lesser attention or relational aspect. This is true. In a manner of speaking, health provided is based on the results of a test or exam conducted/surveyed on a specific community. On the other hand, some people may refuse to accept help or decline it outright; thinking that they don’t need it or their pride has been insulted. Thus, it is important for health providers to be relational, helping people understand the benefits of the help being provided so that it can be accepted more freely. Imagine, how you can convince a tribe or group to accept vaccine if they had been practicing herbal medicine all throughout their lives? Or how you can convince a community to take advantage of vaccines when their families have opted not to take them for the longest period of time? Although, I believe this is very rare, Gray’s concepts will help a person get acquainted with his/her patients by merely taking into account how men and women vary in reacting to various factors. Knowing that Gray focused on how to make relationships work, it becomes easier to apply his concepts to something general, such as human services – where people deal with other people. Gray’s concepts may even be applied or associated to a group, for Martians did belong to one culture and Venetians belong to another, and very likely, together they share or may have built a different culture too. With this in mind, relating to others will become an everyday adventure, rather than a routinary assumption and prediction of behaviors. It will constitute facts and bases on how personalities can be so similar, yet so different.